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BadOnlineDates: theaccidentalplayer
theaccidentalplayer How many dates before...

Someone commented recently on one of my postings about a woman that I slept with after the fourth date, saying that it sounded like she "didn't seem to have a problem hooking up rather fast in the bedroom". While some may not agree, I do have to say that my experience with dating is that sex typically happens between dates 3-5. So hooking up on a 4th date doesn't seem like it's happening fast. My feeling, and I've had other men AND women agree, is that after three dates or so, you're kind of both thinking "I like this person enough to commit my time and energy into seeing them." If you are attracted to each other, you're both adults, so why not? Plus, why not find out sooner than later if you are sexually compatible? Because sometimes you won't be. And then you'll have wasted your time seeing someone that isn't good in bed. Yeah, it matters. If you say it doesn't, it probably means you're not very good. Trust me on this.

BadOnlineDates community...what do you think?

I'll share my most recent dating experience, which actually relates to this topic. I dated a woman I met online for three months. Now, at most, we'd see each other once or twice a week. The first month, we probably went out about 6 times. I was seeing someone else at the same time, but recognized I just wanted to see this one person, so after month one, she was it.

All of our dates were dinner dates, and I'd always come to her part of town (40 miles from where I lived). We kissed after our 2nd date, and after each, I'd walk her to her apartment but not get invited in. Finally after about a month and a half (maybe date #10), she invited me in. But she'd never let me stay. We'd make out, but that was it.

Normally, I'd have probably just stopped seeing her. Again, we are both adults that are into each other. So why not? But she was different. She was gorgeous, very well educated (in her late 30s, she was already well recognized in her field...she was a doctor), funny, quick witted, and really kept me on my toes. She was someone I could see myself with long term. So I continued to invest.

Towards the end of our 3rd month together, I told her I wanted to spend the entire weekend together. She liked the idea as well. I suggested going away but she said she probably had to stop in at the hospital for an hour each day, so we agreed to stay local. But I ended up getting a suite at the top hotel in the area, which was just a few blocks from her apartment.

After work on Friday, we went out for a very nice dinner. I took her to a symphony and the entire time, she had her head on my chest or shoulders and would kiss me periodically just because. Afterwards, we went dancing and had drinks until 1AM. On the cab ride back to my hotel, she told the driver to stop first at her apartment, then told me she'd catch up with me the next day.

At that point, my reaction was "REALLY????" I just stared at her and she said she wasn't ready to stay the night with me.

That was our last date. I told her the next day that after three months, if we couldn't be intimate, it likely meant it wasn't going to work. She was pissed and said it seemed like I was just after sex. I pointed out that it was THREE MONTHS! lol

So again readers, what do you think?

What People Are Saying
BadOnlineDates: Tulip
Tulip

I think she has fear of sex or has been sexually abused as a child or is mentally ill.

BadOnlineDates: Chii
Chii

I think shes scared that ur just after it but if u put more effort and say it firectly that shes the one u wanna stay for ur entire life:) i bet she is waiting for ur sweet words i guess :)

BadOnlineDates: Orange
Orange

I think she's testing how far u would go for her , but I think she over did . It's always a game see who last at the end , I'm not saying there no love , it's just dosent last long . Sometimes just loose interest in ur case u do too .

BadOnlineDates: Millyjess
Millyjess

She must be crazy, after 30 is impossible not to have sex on third/four date!! Is a must!! Sex is wonderful,, you are lucky key that ice cold woman stay in the fridge!!! Lol

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