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I'm not ultra optimistic about online dating. I'm separated from my husband. I haven't had a happy marriage and remained in the union for religious reasons until I really couldn't take any more - after about 25 years. So my taste in men is suspect already. I signed up to an online dating site in July this year. I contacted someone. He accepted, I sent a photo and he asked for my number. We arranged to meet the next day. Although my initial reaction to him was not favourable - I found him pretentious - I agreed to meet him again, because he seemed to like me and I thought, okay, he was polite and anyway, I didn't really have very good taste in men. I might be wrong. On the second date, which was in a wilderness park, I decided I liked him. He was much more down to earth. On our third date, we had sex which was definitely a case of mutual attraction, and a very unexpected turn of events. The sex was okay. First time sex is usually just okay. On our fourth date, the sex was better, but by now, I was falling in love. And I'm not an easy pushover. I'm quite cynical about love and life in general. My mood upswing was marked. Our fifth date, he asked me to go away with him overnight. I was definitely falling in love. My mood was over-the-top happy. I was trying to think of ways to "come down" because I was so happy, it was unsettling. I was currently going through work turmoil, as well, so facing a lot of upheaval at the time, plus my husband, from whom I was separated, knew I was seeing someone and was being extremely abusive. On our fifth date, everything fell apart. I was like a love zombie and said the most stupid things I would never normally say. I wasn't thinking clearly and was noticing my date visibly distancing himself from me. It was like I could feel him thinking, what the hell am I dating here? I was giddy, silly and goofy. And the more he was getting judgmental and distant, the worse I was becoming. It was like the culmination of the misery of my marriage break-up taking the shape of an iceberg to sabotage and derail my frail, misguided attempts at freedom. On my last date, date number 5, my date became aloof and distant - and, yes, incredibly pretentious. He told me he came from a distinguished family. (I should have said, "And?" But I knew he was thinking, what on earth am I doing with this giddy moron? He even said I was manic! And had a crazy sense of humour and a weird personality.) But it was no good. I was on some crazy adrenalin high from being out with someone I actually LIKED! So I guess I was nutted out on natural endorphins. And that was it. Although we slept together on our fifth date - and I think even he would admit we were extremely physically compatible - he had previously agreed that the attraction between us was magnetic - but I could feel himself distancing himself from me. So you could say that I was also a bad communicator, being naturally shy about expressing my feelings. Maybe we'd moved from a to b to c at whirl-wind pace, and had failed to set up a proper basis on which to communicate...but this is the problem with online dating. You don't normally meet these people so if things go wrong, or there is a misunderstanding, it is very hard to put it right. In a way, my first instinct was right, my friend was pretentious, judgmental and self-regarding, but I liked him, and my extreme reaction to him rendered me imbecilic on that last crucial date. Rather sad. And I have very rarely felt that level of attraction to anyone, ever and I know that it was mutual. Bizarre. I'm very honest and there was a rare and undeniable physical attraction that made it hard for me to be myself. On our second date, he'd said much the same thing to me, i.e. that he found it hard to talk to me like a normal person because of the physical attraction he was feeling. I miss him, but on the other hand, he hurt my feelings and ultimately, I felt incredibly rejected when he said he couldn't see me any more.